Tingly fingers

It's another beautiful sunny Adelaide morning. The wind is pretty chilly and there'll be rain later but there's not a cloud in the sky at present. I just went for a nice walk and now face a very messy room to tidy up (my "office", which is a disgrace). Blogging and reading the witty (often funny) blogs of other women facing cancer treatment is FAR more interesting .....

Yesterday I went to see the beautiful Belle, my naturopath. She spent an hour with me, patiently explaining (again) why I needed certain medications. Most are vitamins, antioxidants and intestinal flora. There was one I had run out of some days earlier, and couldn't really see the point of taking. She reminded me that it was an anti-oxidant specifically to prevent nerve damage. I've read about neuropathy; initial symptoms are a tingling in the fingertips. By last night, guess what I had? Hot, tingly fingerpads. Now, I don't know if it was due to the washing up I did without wearing gloves (naughty), which may have caused more exfoliation than usual. Or the copious amount of hand-washing necessary for good hygiene in the chemo patient. Or psychosomatic symptoms imagined by the hypochondriac in me. But it feels real to me, and I've become acutely aware of what we need our fingertips for (typing, for one) - I've taken two Lipoec tabs this morning and won't be skipping any more doses.

I've noticed that my eyebrows and lashes have thinned out. I do hope I don't lose them; that could indeed be worse than losing hair on the head because it kind of defines your face, giving expression to your eyes (would my frown look the same?).

Oh, and I wanted to say that if you've been having difficulty in leaving a comment, you are not the only one. I don't know why that is, and you shouldn't have to register to be a blogger in order to leave a comment (though I think it helps if you have a gmail account). When you leave a comment, it comes to me first for approval, and only then does it appear on the blog! No worries.

Getting better

The rollercoaster continues .... I went through the usual bad patch, with more nausea this time (because I chose not to take as much of the anti-nausea medication) but with my digestive system intact! I also appear to have got some contact dermatitis and slight skin infection - basically your body is trying to over-protect itself against these foreign invading toxins. It seems every round of treatment brings a new and interesting effect. But I think I'm handling them better. This time, instead of being chirpy for two days afterwards and then collapsing, I felt better about letting myself lie in bed for much of the time. I relaxed and read a lot; didn't even contact anyone. I could get used to being this lazy (I think that is what I am scared of, actually).

I was called by a high school to see if I'd like to do some relief teaching and even though I don't feel 100% I SO wanted to say yes! I felt I could do it {I can't though, if I want to avoid infection}. There is a lot of work to do at home, with spring cleaning and organising stuff, so I could be getting on with that. Except it's easier to avoid the mess than face up to it.

My daughters were gorgeous this afternoon (I don't know what they are after). First we went to the shops after school, to buy food for supper. We'd had a donation morning at Church yesterday, but had forgotten to buy consumables to donate. G reminded me to buy some things 'for the poor people', and with her own pocket money she bought some chocolate for the family and biscuits to donate. F actually helped me with the groceries, loading and unloading them to and from the car. I was a little stunned. Then, while I cooked, they set to vacuuming the car and emptying the dishwasher. I'm sure they're after something! Perhaps it was because I was disappointed in them this morning, and reminded them that Girl Guides are responsible and helpful, etc. They are going to make their initiation promises soon, and are probably after a badge as well as pocket money .....

Have a great week everyone! The weather our end seems to be sunnier, with the sun noticeably rising earlier now.

Feelin' queasy

Round three of chemo (halfway on the heavy drugs) went fairly well on Wednesday, except that I had to have the cold cap/gloves on for way too long because the nurse forgot to start the Taxotere IV. I bore the pain well at first but it just builds up and gets too unbearable at times. I pull my hands out, warm them up a bit and then shove them back into the freezing gel-filled mits. Can't eat, drink or read during this time because I can't grip anything (and it's usually lunchtime by then). There are 5 caps @ 35 min each and two pairs of gloves @ 45 min each. Brrrr!

Today was interesting. I attempted to avoid the anti-nausea medications (mainly Dexamethasone) which cause severe constipation. I had three different lots of anti-nausea meds on the day of chemo, and being steroids they have their own side effects. I consider myself to have been very brave today, taking the herbal medication instead. I had waves of queasiness and heartburn, but haven't puked yet! Yay! I've eaten well, which is also important.

Thank you to my family in South Africa who were and are thinking of me, and encouraging me so nicely. I really do appreciate that .....

From Drop Box

No matter how bad life has treated you, just walk tall with your head high!!!

Have a nice day! :)

Finally the sun's coming out this morning - seems like it's been cold and rainy all weekend. I'm having my first full cup of (decaf) coffee in weeks. After chemo in two days I won't feel like a coffee for a while.

The kids went back to school today (yay!) after a two-week winter break. Much as I love them, it's nice not to have them underfoot or asking interminable questions. They wore us down and got the Wii they wanted! {Actually I think it was mainly Arthur who wanted it, in order to play the "Avatar" game} They are WAY too good at SuperMario and Tennis, considering we've only had it two weeks!

I did get my hair cut; it's waaay short! Just like I had it when I was 27 (at RMB), except my face has more wrinkles. Now the cold can go all the way to my scalp and freeze my follicles to prevent any further hair loss.
Also, the 'flu finally seems to be leaving my throat and chest, though my nose is still runny. Now I just wish I had the energy to do some exercise ..... I'm just being lazy.

I think of you all, and wish you a happy day!

'Flu season

I guess I couldn't avoid it! I've been incapacitated by the dreaded 'lurgy. After accepting that I would not be able to teach classrooms of kids breathing viruses or germs on or near me, it happened to me in the school holidays! I literally stayed in bed for two days, taking herbal throat medicine on top of my copious amounts of vitamins. It was so bad I thought I'd caught a 'man cold' - I felt snotty and miserable. Finally, after five days I think I am on the mend. I do believe I will not require antibiotics, which is amazing! It started in my throat and tonsils, became a head cold and then tried to get into my lungs. Thank goodness Belle (my naturopath) has given me so much stuff to bolster my immunity. I can see it's really made a difference!

You might not want to know this but one effect of chemotherapy is that it can bring on menopause prematurely, which is why some women's hair grows back grey. They may stop having their monthly cycle altogether during treatment, and then permanently. Looks like mine has been disrupted by a week, but luckily it's not gone! I can only speak for my situation now; I'll only know long-term effects later.

I can't believe I still have my hair. Some started coming out a couple of weeks ago, but it didn't get worse. And I even need a haircut; that's nice to know!

I'm sorry if any emails are bouncing back. We attempted to change service providers, little realising it would entail over a week of being disconnected. I'm writing this using Arthur's dongle (as the actress said to the bishop).

Have a lovely weekend! {I have chemo to look forward to on Wednesday}

Letting go .... (and accepting my metabolic state)

It’s funny how things occur to let you know whether you are on the right track or not. Just before my second round of chemotherapy (aside from the urine infection) I felt healthy and energetic. I felt physically up to doing substitute teaching and let the one school know which would be my ‘optimum’ days for coming in. I even did a day of relief teaching and thoroughly enjoyed myself. However, during a counselling session at the Cancer Care Centre I had to admit that perhaps I’d be taking on a bit much by teaching; not so much from an energy point of view but the risk I run of exposing myself to viral infections this ‘flu season. I was advised to take this time out, to invest the next six months in myself. I would be doing my family and future health a favour. It actually bought a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes to ‘let go’ of the desire to teach and be part of the work force. I had told myself that it would do me good to continue to participate in school life, but I think the fact is that I’m concerned about missing out on career opportunities as well as earning money. I’ll have to look at my attachments to these things, which are (let’s face it) drivers for many of us!

Another thing confirming the advice to let go of pushing myself was the results of my hair analysis and bone scan, done before chemotherapy began. For $120 you send a hair sample to InterClinical Laboratories NSW and the report sent back provides details of the balance of minerals and metals found in your hair. The results indicate that I have a slow metabolism with reduced secretion of adrenal and thyroid hormones. Nutrients are poorly absorbed and utilised, resulting in decreased energy production at the cellular level, which in turn exacerbates the slow metabolic rate. Symptoms include fatigue, dry skin, weight gain, depression and tendencies towards recurring viral infections. The naturopath said that the high levels of magnesium and calcium found in my hair indicate that I have been under stress, indicated by symptoms of dizziness and muscle cramps. The test revealed an elevated level of tin (a bit of a worry) and bismuth (not really a concern) but I was relieved to see very low levels of mercury and lead. Generally the results worried me because I wondered if my body being physically under stress over the past five years was linked to me getting breast cancer. Also, results of my full body scan showed some degeneration in shoulder joints, knees and sacro-illiac joint – I started to feel as if I am falling apart! I believe I seriously need to change my diet and exercise in order to prevent illness in the future. But for now, the naturopath has me taking lots of vitamins and IBS support to strengthen my immune and digestive systems in between bouts of chemotherapy. Perhaps I should just relax and get plenty of rest, and just enjoy this time off, eh? (I have plenty to do)

Good morning!

It's exactly 6am Tuesday as I start this, and I'm feeling much better. The after effects of the second round of chemotherapy were far easier to handle, as I learned and applied a lot from the first! After the chemo on Wednesday, I seem fine for the next two and a half days, though I take it easy. By Saturday mid-morning however I start to feel weird, lightheaded and sensorily overloaded. Lights and sounds are more intense and it's kind of like a high; a lie down is the best option. So I basically achieved nothing for the next two and a half days, which is cool. I drank a LOT more water and took a LOT more fibre and that really helped get rid of the toxic effects of the drugs.

It was wonderful to have Fred and his girls look after my girls for much of the weekend; sounds like they had a ball! They could watch television, and eat pizza and lollies till late. He took them to the faerie cave and chocolate factory the next day. Poor Arthur worked most of the weekend on transferring a huge mound of soil and compost to create a raised vegetable garden for me (so we can grow organic veggies); he also mowed the lawn and cooked food. I think he's taking a bit of strain .....

Jodie and her family kindly looked after the girls on Monday; it's lovely to have that extra help from friends who offer because they understand what it's like to have a really 'off' day, and it certainly lightens the load! Here's to getting slightly more energy every day from now on (for the next two weeks). It's also school holidays for the next two weeks! I am going apply to do relief teaching for the days that I anticipate feeling good next term, but there's is the question of my immunity (and students spluttering on me this winter) that I need to take into consideration.

Thank you to everyone who has been thinking of me; I'm sure it's all the prayers that have helped the treatment go a lot easier than it could otherwise have done. I really appreciate it. Have a lovely day!