In a Funk, or the Doldrums?

What's the difference? I'm that indecisive that I can't decide whether I'm in a funk or in the doldrums. I can't seem to get anything done. There are loads of things I feel I ought to get done, but there's this rebellious little part of me that making me feel as if I couldn't care less. It's getting to be a bit of a worry, and extends to things like taking my (10+) vitamins on time, rinsing out my mouth with salt water every few hours, exercising, etc. Surely the part of me that cares deeply about myself would WANT to nurture me?

I have done some decisive things this week, though. I dragged myself to aerobics class on Monday and enjoyed it thoroughly. Yesterday (Wednesday) I got called to do relief teaching at MM girls' school and I had a wonderful day - hope I don't get 'flu now! Today I went to group therapy for the second time, but perhaps I should not join this group as it is for people whose cancer has come back. A lovely lady there was so upbeat and positive; she's off to Europe soon, and she gave us some very helpful advice about juicing. At the moment I think it's a schlep but perhaps I really could get into it. I'm trying to visualise a 'new me' and my 'new normal' lifestyle that would incorporate all the things like yoga, aerobic excercise, swimming, praying, fun time with kids, loving time with husband, preparing healthy meals and teaching students in a relaxed environment (ha!). It's either going to be very difficult, or impossible, and I may have to re-think some of the options!

The day of relief teaching did temporarily inspire me to have another go at getting my teaching materials in order, onto electronic media. But I achieved none of that today, unfortunately. I did go for a walk and send some emails (including one to the politician who keeps sending us paper-wasting missives, and another to complain about G's teacher).

When you have chemo and you get a mouth sore or cut, it doesn't go away quickly. I have had a mouth ulcer for days, which I'm sure would go away sooner if I looked after myself better .................